Refactor the connection management on contacts to have a goroutine
responsible for tracking the state of a contact's connection, launching
and canceling outbound attempts when appropriate, etc.
A race would cause a call to AddOnionPorts that was blocked waiting for
a control connection to try to publish the service twice, because the
onion republication wasn't done until after the connection status
change.
This is fixed by refactoring the control connection setup to do all
setup before signalling the state change, including copying the list of
onions to publish. The code is slightly cleaner now as well.